06Apr16

Genesis 3:12-13
The man said, "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate." Then the Lord God said to the woman, "What is this that you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

I wouldn't be this way if you didn't... I wouldn't do that if you weren't... This wouldn't have happened if you would have... It's not my fault... It's your fault... It's his fault. Blame. It's something we humans have dealt with in our relationships since the beginning of time. We couch our pain in blame. We try so very hard to avoid taking responsibility for hurt and wrong. It's so much easier just to blame someone else. The thing about blame is that, at its core, it is past. It is our attempt to take what we are currently facing and put it in the past instead of owning the moment.

There are so many times in my life that I can look back on and see myself standing there trying to figure out who to blame rather than how to solve the problem. We do this all the time. We put finding the blame ahead of finding the solution. I see it at work. I see it in marriages frequently. Rather than trying to focus on future goals, present problems, or past lessons learned all they want to do it fight over whose fault it is. This didn't work for Adam and Eve in the garden and it doesn't work for us now. No matter who the facts point to as the person to blame we are all guilty. We all have done something that we should not be getting away with. We escaped blame. But, what we can't escape is consequence. Adam and Eve were still kicked out of paradise. We still have a problem to solve. We still have a marriage to nurture. So today, quit the blame game and step up to the plate. Work on what is broken in the now and focus on where you want to be in the future. Let the grudges and hatred go where they belong... in the past.