17Jun16

Matthew 18:15 ESV
"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother."

When I was in college I was interning at a fairly large church in WA state. I had made some friends on the staff and was having a great time. One day one of the pastors made a comment about someone that I knew in the church that seemed unfair to me. From what I knew of this person he was kind, honest, and did not deserve this kind of slander! But, I didn't go and try to figure out the reasoning behind the comment, I didn't talk to that pastor, I didn't try to get resolution. Even though that pastor had been an influence in my life and had poured greatly into me... I wrote him off in that moment. I would never go to him again and I would even bad mouth him to other congregants. I was right and he was wrong.

Years later I ran into this pastor at a conference and I still felt that twinge of anger just from seeing them. But, having gone through some of my own growing, I decided to confront him and remove this root of bitterness from my own soul. When I did, he remembered clearly the incident, explained why he said what he did (which was a really good explanation), and then expressed to me his own hurt from my actions in response. We were able to forgive each other that day and I gained back my brother.

When we don't give people the opportunity to own their mistakes, to explain their position, or to even see them as a friend instead of an enemy, we do everyone involved a disservice. We would rather write off people then to have any type of confrontation. But, done in love, with understanding towards healing, confronting the hurt and discord is the best thing you can do. Who have you written off in your life that may deserve that opportunity? How do you heal the hurts of offense in your life?